if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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