Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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