Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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