This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
