I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize