I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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