: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
