so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
