I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
they need to just BURY HIM!
now i know why i became what i already was.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
