dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
