What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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