i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
