just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
porn star boner night. come get it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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