I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
