I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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