My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
