She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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