Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Two words: nipple clamps
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