I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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