Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
