dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
