come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
