What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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