my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
