Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize