One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize