you mean i was at the winter classic?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
