guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
