And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
