I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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