Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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