we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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