Porn is love you can see.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
