i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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