I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
