Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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