So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Randomize
