dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize