He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize