I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
