I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Someone signed my nipple.
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