I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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