im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
