first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize