So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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