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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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