Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
