I want to have your abortion
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
