at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
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