he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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