Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
