And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
