Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
