Sponge bath it is.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
