He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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