Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
