Porn is love you can see.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
