what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My dick has a subreddit
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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