Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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