I CAN MOONWALK!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
