Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
