So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
